Monday, October 7, 2013
3 months? How did that happen??
At the beginning, I was impatient for Ava to get past that boring newborn phase where she just slept and ate. I wanted her to develop her personality, interact with me a little more. She now is definitely there, and I find myself praying that time slows down because I don't want her to grow up so quickly because right now, she's just so darn cute (in my wholly objective and unbiased opinion) and so much fun!
It's been 3 months since Ava popped out to say hello to the world, and in that time, she has become empress of our world, our house and our family. I did start off calling her the princess, but that would imply that there is someone else with more seniority... and I just don't think there is anyone else in our family (immediate and extended) that has everyone dancing to her tune like she has us!
She has my parents and my brothers well and truly wrapped around her tiny little fingers. When I take her to visit her grandparents, it is hilarious to watch my mum and dad actually fight over who gets to carry her. It is not unusual for them to argue - "It's my turn! You've already held her for the past 10 minutes!" - or conjure up instances where the other one has to go do something so they get to hog A all to themselves. She has reduced my three stoic brothers into men that will happily baby sit, strap on the Ergo baby to take her out and about, or lie on the floor with her to help her play. All of this is incredibly beautiful to see - and it's amazing that such a tiny little thing could bring so many people so much joy.
I have been incredibly blessed to not just have Ava, but for A to also be such a good baby. She has always been a champion sleeper, and is now consistently sleeping through the night. We had some battles with her day sleeps, but we're now at a stage where at set nap times, I give her a kiss, tell her it is time for a nap and put her down in her cot awake where she'll lie there happily for a bit before dozing off to sleep, and waking up hours later super smiley and chatty. The best parts of my day are where she and I sit down and have a good long chat - she is incredibly animated, and smiles and laughs as she makes all sorts of baby noises. I have no idea what she's telling me but I make the appropriate noises and murmurs which seems to translate into her language too!
I hope that as she grows up, we will continue to have these chats - hopefully we will progress to English at some stage! I hope that even as a teen, and later an adult, she will want to sit down to talk to me and tell me about her day and what is happening in her life. I have enormous respect for my parents in that they respect me as an adult who makes her own choices and decisions, and I aim to parent in the same way with my children. I aim to be there for her when she needs me, but I will be waiting by the sidelines to catch her when she falls, rather than holding her back from flying.
She will make mistakes, she will learn regret, she will fall, cry, have her heart broken and learn disappointment and sadness. And my role in all of that is not to protect her from them, but to stand next to her and hold her hand when it does.
Too deep for a 3 month old baby? Absolutely, but there is nothing like seeing your child grow to make you pensive. And as to being a parent, it is like anything else - you need to plan what kind of parent you want to be, think long and hard about it, and then actively work towards being it. Nothing comes easily, no relationship is without its hard work and commitment, and when you as an individual have so much influence over another human's life, you really better not f*^k it up.
So A, I hope I don't f*^k it up. I'm trying my best. I have a lot of guidance from grandma and grandpa, and I hope that when you're older, you will appreciate the choice that I made in my style of parenting I hope you will feel like you were given the space to explore and live, but that you always knew that we were there for you every step of the way. Three months now, but in 30 years, I hope that you and I will still be sitting down for our chats because they will always be a cherished part of my day.